Vacationing with a Boy Day 6: The Art of Relaxation

This is literally the only picture I had of Today's Towel Animal...Pat the Bunny

Today's Fruity Drink: Hurricane Wave

Today's Bottle of Wine: Rex Goliath Pinot Noir...AMAZING

Location: Ocho Rios, Jamaica

Yeaaaahhhh we're on a roll now internet people! Two entries back to back...much like we had two ports of call back to back on our trip! By Day six JP and I were FINALLY starting to relax and unwind a bit. We're not exactly in the practice of slowing down, so whenever we go on vacation we need a few days to really get into the vacation zone. This is why the honeymoon will (hopefully!) be two weeks long!!!

Laaaaaid Back with his mind on his money and his money on his mind...

After all the shopping we had done in the other ports of call and our extreme disappointment at missing out on the beaches on Grand Cayman, we had some pretty severe tunnel vision getting off the ship in Jamaica. I think I literally yelled at one of the EIGHT BILLION PEOPLE TRYING TO SELL US STUFF that all I wanted was to lay on the beach. Legit...some dude tried to sell us everything from glass bottom boat rides to tye-dye to weed!!! I will forgive this guy though because he also gave us directions to the nearest stretch of sand.

The thing that no one told us about Jamaica is that its not really a beachy type destination. The other two places that we'd been were definitely more ideal for laying out in the sun and just swimming in the ocean. Jamaica is more about climbing waterfalls and zip-lining through the jungle and taking a bus to where Bob Marley was born and paying the cruise line all sorts of money to do all of the above...so we were somewhat unsure of what we'd find in Ocho Rios if we tackled it sans excursion plans.

JP literally did not get out of the water for like 3 hours

We went against smart cruising rule number one (aka don't do anything visible from the harbor because its almost always a rip-off) and headed for the first beach we found. This has to be the one place where I'll tell you that this turned out really really well for us. We paid $2 to get on the beach and because the entire rest of the ship was scrambling up a waterfall or through a jungle had the WHOLE DAMN THING TO OURSELVES until about noon. We must have had like seventeen people offer to braid my hair and try to sell me Red Stripe...but its just not every day you have a whole stretch of ocean to yourselves in Jamaica!!! There was much frolicking that went on in the ocean.

I spared you the super zoomed in one...

Two other quick highlights of this day were:

1.) In Jamaica...the police ride JET SKIS???? I know a couple of cops that should consider a move south!!

FOR REAL???? Yes...thats a cop on a Jet Ski!

2.) R-Rated show in the Piano bar...PHENOMENAL. For my college friends, this guy sung "At A Medium Pace" and I thought of all of you. For all my family reading this...please don't google this song...you'll judge me forever. I realize this warning will make you want to do it more, but please just take my word for it...don't!

Last day coming up soon!!

Jill-Ron

Vacationing with a Boy Day 4: How to have the perfect Sea Day

Today's Towel Animal: ummmm??? is this a bear???

Today's Fruity Drink: Pina Colada to prepare for whatever the ships "Newly Wed Game"

Today's Bottle of Wine: Wente Morning Fog Chardonnay (yeah we couldn't finish it all...sue us!)

Location: Caribbean Sea somewhere between Mexico and the British West Indies

So the last two entries may lead you to believe that JP and I aren't actually able to have fun together on vacation. It's true...we had some rocky moments in Mexico, but I feel thats to be expected. Day 4 was a sea day and in my opinion absolutely perfect AND we spent the majority of it together :-) So here are my steps to having a great day at sea while on a cruise with your S.O.

1.) Breakfast: Go eat in the dining room instead of the buffet when you're at sea at least once. The food is often a little bit better and its always nice to be served food. A perk in the Liberty's dining room was that they had a HUGE juice selection (pineapple juice...in a wine glass...its awesome). The server's were a bit slow on this morning, but we were seated with a lovely couple from Georgia and we had ample time to get to know them while waiting for our food.

Totally Appropriate on a Cruise Ship...

2.) Trivia: We decided to try our hand at Country Music Trivia after breakfast. We're hicks at heart people...DON'T JUDGE!!! Honestly, this would not have been my first choice of things to do as I'm slightly anti-social. On the last cruise JP and I took with our college friends, I wouldn't touch any of these types of activities. I learned on this trip that a lot of these activities you can participate as much or as little as you want. There was very little pressure...and I like that. We didn't win...but we did have fun.

3.) Lunch: Again GO TO THE RESTAURANT! The food options are great for lunch and I had one of the best desserts of the whole cruise. Seriously...melting brownie sundae...AMAZING! The buffets are also really great...but they're also really crowded during lunch times. The dining room is quiet and you just feel a little fancier!

4.) Relaxing: After lunch I did some sunbathing both on the pool deck and on our balcony. Generally, I can't deal with sunbathing because I get really hot and uncomfortable just baking in the sun. Because the adult Lido pool was so crowded when I showed up, I was forced to go up one deck and there I made an amazing discovery. If you sit ABOVE the pool where there isn't a whole lot other than a metal railing between you and the ocean there's an AMAZING breeze. Natural AC...its phenomenal.

5.) Raunchy Newly Wed Show: I promised JP that I would go see this show with him. We had no idea if it was something we'd have to participate in or what...so I had a drink beforehand and lurked near the back before going in. It ended up being REALLY hilarious and pretty much non-participatory for 99% of the audience. Totally R-rated...totally awkward...I was TOTALY in heaven.

6.) Exercise: Totally had time to take advantage of the ships sports deck and took a mile run before dinner. Definitely made me feel less like a fatty when I gorged myself on tons of food later!

7.) Piano Bar: Really...do I even need to say more? Ok fine...blue martini!!! JP requested WAY too many Elton John songs for me not to have a few drinks

8.) The HIGHLIGHT of the day by far was the final activity we did. On Carnival, the final show in the big theater is what they call the "Legends" Show. They audition karaoke singers all week to play various entertainment legends in the show. The auditions on this night were for the show's Garth Brooks and Frank Sinatra and at first JP just wanted to watch. As we sipped daiquiris it became apparent that JP had become convinced that HE could do a better job than the people auditioning...so he audition. I got to watch JP, my future husband, sing "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra. He didn't win...which is probably for the best because as soon as he signed up I was sure he was going to throw up before he made it on stage...but he had fun and it was very entertaining. I have video...someday if you're nice to JP maybe he'll let me post it on this blog ;-)

Until next time,

Jill-ron

ZOMG!!! 1 year of living in Sin

So yeah! Its been roughly a year since JP and I moved in together here in Silver Spring. Its been a crazy year, but one worth celebrating!! Here on Dysfunctionally Functional, we're going to do just that with a series I like to call "Vacationing With a Boy: Adventures In the Caribbean." It has a nice ring don't you think? I could TOTALLY make sequels with it!! Getting ahead of myself though...Enjoy!!!

Vacationing with a boy Day 1: Man Cheers in Miami

As anyone reading this blog knows, I feel that living with someone you're ostensibly going to spend the rest of your life with before actually getting married, is non-negotiable. I would also submit that going on vacation with that person is a pretty big part of the spouse try-out process. While JP and I have been on numerous vacations together, we had never been on a trip totally alone, just the two of us. Keeping this in mind, we planned a cruise vacation to the Western Caribbean on the beautiful Carnival Liberty for early May of this year.

I've done a few blog posts now in a segment I like to call "Man Gripes" and now for the first vacation blog, I'd like to introduce a new segment called "Man Cheers." As someone who generally travels alone (at least while in the airport), I am used to getting up at crazy hours in the morning to wait for Super Shuttles and lugging all my luggage EVERYWHERE with me so people don't steal/plant illicit substances in it. This time I had a boy with though and I made two awesome discoveries about how great having a travel partner is.

1.) Traveling with a boy (that owns a car) means we get to drive the Land-Barge to the airport on our own schedule instead of messing around with Supershuttle. Good old Supershuttle wanted to pick us up at like 4 AM so that we would have "ample time" (read unnecessary, RIDICULOUS amounts of time which usually results in JP eating a large gross McDonald's breakfast) to make our flight. Instead we left at 5 AM (first time we've ever left RIGHT on JP's schedule!!) and arrived at the gate maybe 30 minutes before boarding. Not enough time to gorge on a greasy fast food breakfast, but enough to grab a bagel and not feel rushed.

2.) Traveling with a boy means that I can use the restroom, throw away my garbage, or buy a magazine without lugging ALL my carry-on luggage with me. I had enough freedom in the Miami Airport bathroom stall to freaking WALTZ people...it was amazing. I also didn't have to worry about knocking over racks of magazines/books/candy/valuable breakables with my backpack. SERIOUSLY...YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS!

Otherwise, the rest of this day was fairly uneventful. The cruise ship stole JP's bottle of wine he packed (because it was in his checked bag, not carry-on). We found out that "Blackberry don't has Airplane Mode!" and that JP walks VERY quickly through airport terminals. Our cabin was great, the ship was lovely, our waitstaff at dinner was pretty awesome.

Stay tuned as I update throughout the week on the various fruity cocktails I enjoyed, fun happenings on our vacation, and general tips and tidbits about vacationing with a boy (there will be photos!)!!

Love,

Jill-ron!