Oh look lucky blog readers...TWO updates so close together! Don't get used to it...today is a special occasion! A problem has come up between JP and I and we need YOU, our loving internet audience, to mediate for us. We cannot decide if our five year anniversary happens on September 28th or 29th; furthermore I think every year we have this argument and come to a different conclusion. So what I'm going to do is tell the story, then you can vomit, and then you can help us settle this once and for all in the comments section.
*Fair Warning: For all you people who claim my blog entries are "TLDR" (too long, didn't read) GROW SOME ATTENTION SPAN or just don't read this one because I'm lonely and this is a long story!!!!!! (Throwing that out there for you Joe Quintas! Though God knows I put up with enough of your crazyness and long winded rants about various British television shows, new technology, and the nation formerly known as Rhodesia). READ TO THE END THOUGH...the ending is funny I PROMISE!!!!!
So a little background first...JP and I met the second night of college at the now "infamous" Regan Hall movie party in future friend, Brendan Koeth's room. JP was standing outside in a blazer, jeans and probably his Red Sox hat greeting people by saying "Hi, JP Walsh, Rush Chair...Damn Glad to meet you." It was at that moment that I knew...
that this guy was a huge asshole. I mean come on!!! What kind of unoriginal D-bag quotes Animal House on the first night of college?????!!!!?? Despite this oh-so-auspicious start to our relationship, JP and I did manage to become friends...or at least managed to have a lot of mutual friends. I probably even voted for him when he ran for Freshman Class senator...I mean he was sort of charming and he knew what he was talking about! At Christmas our group of friends all had a gift exchange and he surprised the crap out of us by bringing everyone Best Buy gift cards. One time he hugged me and was very sympathetic when he found out that my Grandmother died over Christmas break. Basically, by the beginning of second semester I didn't think he was an ass anymore and I actually thought he was a pretty interesting guy. At SOME POINT which I'll let him clear up at a later point, his feelings about me changed too and on Valentine's Day 2005 our roommates thought they'd try and play match maker.
It didn't work very well...I kind of freaked out when I thought he was going to make his big move on our spring break trip to Paris (would it really have been SUCH a stretch to imagine a boy might try and be romantic in Paris???) and ended up being a world class, grade A, mega, super sonic BIOTCH to him during the trip. The rest of our semester was characterized by him following me around like a puppy and me going back and forth between treating him like my best friend and mildly abusing him. Patiently, he followed me around, silently judged me as I went after a number of very strange guys (anyone remember Slash?), helped me deal with a crushing bout of homesickness, planned a birthday dinner for me, and slowly became a very good friend. Fun story...he helped me drag my bags to the metro the day I flew home for the summer and told me he loved me in the metro station...I may have returned the sentiment and ran off awkwardly crying.
The summer was uncomfortable for us...atfirstwetalkedalot...Ihadalittletristwithanex-boyfriendthatsummer...itwasverysordidandembarassing. Long story short, JP listened to me confess the whole mortifying experience and was sympathetic, non-critical and a total gentlemen despite knowing three things:
1.) he had feelings for me
2.) I knew he had feelings for me and
3.) I knew how much this hurt him to hear and was making him suffer through it anyways
Soooooooooooooooooo maybe I was testing him...maybe I'm just an evil, immature person...maybe I'm just always doomed to deal with personal relationships in the most round-about, awkward way possible, but I considered this situation and what a great person JP had been and that I was attracted to him and came to the conclusion that I was pissing away an opportunity for happiness. After getting back to DC, I got my act together, begged forgiveness, saved our friendship, and then got down to the business of trying to figure out how to tell this dude, "HEY I REALLY LIKE YOU AND I THINK WE SHOULD DATE!" Believe me those of you who might be thinking...YOU DON'T DESERVE SUCH A NICE BOY!!!! if you had been able to witness me throwing myself at him you would have felt that I'd gotten my just desserts for being such a cold hearted ice queen to him up until this point.
UNFORTUNATELY, JP had resigned himself after the "ex-boyfriend incident" that we would never be anything more than friends...and pretty much ignored all my advances. Then again, I'm ridiculous and my advances probably just came off as more crazy...or he was getting his subtle revenge for my previous slights. Anyone wishing to know more about THIS period of JP and my relationship should probably bug JP's roommate at the time, Tom Wood, as he witnessed most of it and could probably tell you some pretty good stories. JP did not get the hint when I'd come over to his dorm wearing make-up and looking like an actual girl in cute clothes. He did not get the hint when I'd find excuses to do ALL my homework in his dorm room. He did not get the hint when I told pretty much EVERYONE HE KNEW THAT I LIKED HIM AND THOUGHT WE SHOULD PROBABLY FALL IN LOVE AND GET MARRIED. Being crazy wasn't really working, so I decided that I was just going to try something new and revolutionary...telling him directly how I felt *GASP* (don't worry I'm almost done now!).
I had planned to wait until the weekend AFTER my accounting midterm...but then I decided that 2:30 AM (on THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 29TH mind you) BEFORE the test was a better plan. He had just finished dealing with the Freshman student government election (and claims it was still wednesday the 28th because he hadn't gone to bed yet) and had come over to sit outside my dorm and talk to me. At one point we were discussing student government and at the next I kind of word vomited my feelings at him. It went something like this:
Jill: "HeyJPsocanwetalkabouttheelephantintheroom???"
JP: Ummm what? Jill speak English you know I don't do well with foreign languages...
Jill: Sorry...can we talk about the "elephant in the room?"
JP:...WTF why are you talking about elephants?
Jill: You've never heard that phrase? Its kind of a common thing people say...
JP: Ummm how about you just explain what you're talking about.
Jill: An "elephant in the room" is a topic that people tend to talk around awkwardly because they're avoiding it. Anyways...I like you.
JP: *Jaw drops to bench* WHAT??
Jill: Yeah...I like like you like you. Like we should date. Why am I saying like so much???
JP: Fo REAL REALS?? (ok I'm lying...he really said "Are you sure?" or something less ghetto)
Jill: Yeah *reaches for his hand"
JP: I like you too *takes my hand*
Jill: LETS THUMB WRESTLE!
*JP beats me at thumb wrestling mercilessly*
*Random Drunk girl pops out of the bushes*
R.D.G.: Heeyyyyyyyyyyy am I at the Pryz???? (or some other ridiculous question). *Looks at JP* You're kind of cute...do you want to walk me to the Pryz???
JP: No...walk that way...I'm going to stay with my girlfriend.
Jill: :-)
So there you go internet... the rest is history. I hope you really stuck around for all of this...as the end is really the most amusing part and worth all the other rambling that went on before it. I think JP and I feel similarly about how our relationship has turned out. He'll probably add his own notes...but before you add your sharp jabs in there John Patrick Walsh just know that I love you and I'm glad that we thumb wrestled that night. Someday I'll beat you!!!
Love,
Jill-ron
