Bridal Party 101: Nolen Deibert, Brides-Man Extrodinaire

Three for Three people...this may just last :-)
So I don't know about you, but whenever I go to a wedding I tend to wonder about the bridal party. Who are they? Where did they come from? Why in the world would they agree to wear matching outfits all day? I intend to shed some light on these important questions by profiling all of our attendants over the coming months.

He's quite excited...about everything!

The inaugural profile is of the most unique member of our bridal party, the Brides-Man. I'm generally not one to buck tradition, but the entire wedding situation didn't feel right without one of my best friends and biggest supporters standing up there with me. While JP is also good friends with Nolen, over the years he has become one of my nearest and dearest, despite the fact that he's been living half a world away in Asia for the past two and a half years. Will some people be like WTH is a dude doing on the brides side...possibly. Do we care...not in the slightest.

A Shot from the Early Years demonstrates we don't care about appearing normal at all

Nolen and I met in the infamous Regan Hall in August of 2004 when we both started college at CUA. We bonded one weekend when we were among the few students who chose not to go on the Freshman Retreat. History was made that weekend and we were pretty much inseparable for the next four years or so (minus summer and when Nolen studied abroad in Belgium). We braved USG, the Honors Environmental Science track, Pryz food, and finally entering the real world together during our time at CUA. Nolen was one of the brave souls that made a go of it in DC for the first year after college, but in order to gain valuable international experience so he can be an important diplomat someday, he moved to Korea and then China in early 2010. LUCKY FOR ME, he's headed back to the good old US of A for a couple of years to go to grad school...and help me pull this wedding off!

All three of us are INAPPROPRIATELY VERY close

So for your enjoyment...here are Nolen's answers to the best probing questions I could muster:

Interests: Filling out surveys about myself, Moving around Asia, Speaking Chinese at inappropriate moments to people who don't understand me

Favorite color: Light Urple (JW: It is very possible he meant purple...I chose to keep it like this for artistic reasons)

Note: This is definitely NOT warm milk with a little honey in Nolen's cup

When did you first know you'd have to show up at our wedding: Wait, I actually have to show up? This is going to be problematic...

Favorite Cocktail to get you in the Party Mood: A nice glass of warm milk with a little honey in it. (JW: This is absolute crap and he will pay for the answer he gave here...)

This sums up JP and Nolen's relationship fairly well

What is your favorite wedding movie/pop culture wedding moment: The marriage of the Sea Captain to his wooden mermaid on The Simpsons. (Or if we're getting sentimental, when gay marriage was legalized in DC)

Is there a song you can't wait to shake your grove thang to at the reception: Well, it's not MY grove thang that will be shaking (JW: doubtful...), but I am SERIOUSLY excited for Baby Got Back. Jill knows why...

This has got to be the only normal, attractive shot of us taken...EVER

If you could skip any normal wedding tradition...what would it be: Ugh the dollar shot dance or whatever. And the chicken dance. Oh and if you write your own vows I WILL LEAVE SO HELP ME

Chicken or Fish: Chicken, but only if it has been killed by being drowned in the ocean. SEA DEATHS FOR ALL THE CHICKEN.

The Dynamic Duo is more awkward awesome than pretty much anyone else

Any last thoughts you'd like the public to know: So since the rest of this has been fairly ridiculous, let's get real for a minute here. Jill and JP have been like mom and dad to me for the last couple of years. I've been traipsing all over the world, but it's been pretty excellent to know that Jill would be there for my 3am/3pm drunk chats, or that JP would be there for my "OH CRAP WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE" crises. So when they asked me to be in their wedding, it was a no-brainer. I'm so happy that they are making this commitment to each other, and so proud to be part of it. Congrats, Jill and JP!

From the Beginning now...

Oh look lucky blog readers...TWO updates so close together! Don't get used to it...today is a special occasion! A problem has come up between JP and I and we need YOU, our loving internet audience, to mediate for us. We cannot decide if our five year anniversary happens on September 28th or 29th; furthermore I think every year we have this argument and come to a different conclusion. So what I'm going to do is tell the story, then you can vomit, and then you can help us settle this once and for all in the comments section.

*Fair Warning: For all you people who claim my blog entries are "TLDR" (too long, didn't read) GROW SOME ATTENTION SPAN or just don't read this one because I'm lonely and this is a long story!!!!!! (Throwing that out there for you Joe Quintas! Though God knows I put up with enough of your crazyness and long winded rants about various British television shows, new technology, and the nation formerly known as Rhodesia). READ TO THE END THOUGH...the ending is funny I PROMISE!!!!!

So a little background first...JP and I met the second night of college at the now "infamous" Regan Hall movie party in future friend, Brendan Koeth's room. JP was standing outside in a blazer, jeans and probably his Red Sox hat greeting people by saying "Hi, JP Walsh, Rush Chair...Damn Glad to meet you." It was at that moment that I knew...

that this guy was a huge asshole. I mean come on!!! What kind of unoriginal D-bag quotes Animal House on the first night of college?????!!!!?? Despite this oh-so-auspicious start to our relationship, JP and I did manage to become friends...or at least managed to have a lot of mutual friends. I probably even voted for him when he ran for Freshman Class senator...I mean he was sort of charming and he knew what he was talking about! At Christmas our group of friends all had a gift exchange and he surprised the crap out of us by bringing everyone Best Buy gift cards. One time he hugged me and was very sympathetic when he found out that my Grandmother died over Christmas break. Basically, by the beginning of second semester I didn't think he was an ass anymore and I actually thought he was a pretty interesting guy. At SOME POINT which I'll let him clear up at a later point, his feelings about me changed too and on Valentine's Day 2005 our roommates thought they'd try and play match maker.

It didn't work very well...I kind of freaked out when I thought he was going to make his big move on our spring break trip to Paris (would it really have been SUCH a stretch to imagine a boy might try and be romantic in Paris???) and ended up being a world class, grade A, mega, super sonic BIOTCH to him during the trip. The rest of our semester was characterized by him following me around like a puppy and me going back and forth between treating him like my best friend and mildly abusing him. Patiently, he followed me around, silently judged me as I went after a number of very strange guys (anyone remember Slash?), helped me deal with a crushing bout of homesickness, planned a birthday dinner for me, and slowly became a very good friend. Fun story...he helped me drag my bags to the metro the day I flew home for the summer and told me he loved me in the metro station...I may have returned the sentiment and ran off awkwardly crying.

The summer was uncomfortable for us...atfirstwetalkedalot...Ihadalittletristwithanex-boyfriendthatsummer...itwasverysordidandembarassing. Long story short, JP listened to me confess the whole mortifying experience and was sympathetic, non-critical and a total gentlemen despite knowing three things:

1.) he had feelings for me

2.) I knew he had feelings for me and

3.) I knew how much this hurt him to hear and was making him suffer through it anyways

Soooooooooooooooooo maybe I was testing him...maybe I'm just an evil, immature person...maybe I'm just always doomed to deal with personal relationships in the most round-about, awkward way possible, but I considered this situation and what a great person JP had been and that I was attracted to him and came to the conclusion that I was pissing away an opportunity for happiness. After getting back to DC, I got my act together, begged forgiveness, saved our friendship, and then got down to the business of trying to figure out how to tell this dude, "HEY I REALLY LIKE YOU AND I THINK WE SHOULD DATE!" Believe me those of you who might be thinking...YOU DON'T DESERVE SUCH A NICE BOY!!!! if you had been able to witness me throwing myself at him you would have felt that I'd gotten my just desserts for being such a cold hearted ice queen to him up until this point.

UNFORTUNATELY, JP had resigned himself after the "ex-boyfriend incident" that we would never be anything more than friends...and pretty much ignored all my advances. Then again, I'm ridiculous and my advances probably just came off as more crazy...or he was getting his subtle revenge for my previous slights. Anyone wishing to know more about THIS period of JP and my relationship should probably bug JP's roommate at the time, Tom Wood, as he witnessed most of it and could probably tell you some pretty good stories. JP did not get the hint when I'd come over to his dorm wearing make-up and looking like an actual girl in cute clothes. He did not get the hint when I'd find excuses to do ALL my homework in his dorm room. He did not get the hint when I told pretty much EVERYONE HE KNEW THAT I LIKED HIM AND THOUGHT WE SHOULD PROBABLY FALL IN LOVE AND GET MARRIED. Being crazy wasn't really working, so I decided that I was just going to try something new and revolutionary...telling him directly how I felt *GASP* (don't worry I'm almost done now!).

I had planned to wait until the weekend AFTER my accounting midterm...but then I decided that 2:30 AM (on THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 29TH mind you) BEFORE the test was a better plan. He had just finished dealing with the Freshman student government election (and claims it was still wednesday the 28th because he hadn't gone to bed yet) and had come over to sit outside my dorm and talk to me. At one point we were discussing student government and at the next I kind of word vomited my feelings at him. It went something like this:

Jill: "HeyJPsocanwetalkabouttheelephantintheroom???"

JP: Ummm what? Jill speak English you know I don't do well with foreign languages...

Jill: Sorry...can we talk about the "elephant in the room?"

JP:...WTF why are you talking about elephants?

Jill: You've never heard that phrase? Its kind of a common thing people say...

JP: Ummm how about you just explain what you're talking about.

Jill: An "elephant in the room" is a topic that people tend to talk around awkwardly because they're avoiding it. Anyways...I like you.

JP: *Jaw drops to bench* WHAT??

Jill: Yeah...I like like you like you. Like we should date. Why am I saying like so much???

JP: Fo REAL REALS?? (ok I'm lying...he really said "Are you sure?" or something less ghetto)

Jill: Yeah *reaches for his hand"

JP: I like you too *takes my hand*

Jill: LETS THUMB WRESTLE!

*JP beats me at thumb wrestling mercilessly*

*Random Drunk girl pops out of the bushes*

R.D.G.: Heeyyyyyyyyyyy am I at the Pryz???? (or some other ridiculous question). *Looks at JP* You're kind of cute...do you want to walk me to the Pryz???

JP: No...walk that way...I'm going to stay with my girlfriend.

Jill: :-)

So there you go internet... the rest is history. I hope you really stuck around for all of this...as the end is really the most amusing part and worth all the other rambling that went on before it. I think JP and I feel similarly about how our relationship has turned out. He'll probably add his own notes...but before you add your sharp jabs in there John Patrick Walsh just know that I love you and I'm glad that we thumb wrestled that night. Someday I'll beat you!!!

Love,

Jill-ron