From Hot Mess to Just Hot...

WHAT UP SECOND REGULAR BLOG POST!!!!!!!! WARNING: This post is very, VERY, EXTREMELY, self-indulgent! Either get over it...or wait until my next post!

Always nice to revisit old memes right?

So this is a new segment I'd like to introduce to my blog to chronicle the evolution of "Jill Warne, 20 Something Mess" into "Jillian L.W. Walsh, Successful, Winning, Adult". This is a project I've started and totally disregarded about seven billion times before, but its one that frankly cannot wait any longer. My transformation must begin righhhhhhhhhhhhhhhht NOW.

A close friend and I (you know who you are beezy) decided one sad day when we both seemed to be failing at pretty much every aspect of our lives that we should become and then write a book about becoming modern day trophy wives. It seemed like a GREAT IDEA at first...then it seemed like women everywhere would swoop in and take our Free & Independent Woman cards for even suggesting an idea of this nature. Soon after that, a matronly and sassy woman who resembles Oprah or Hillary Clinton would slap us in the face and say "YOU DON'T NEED TO BE WIVES TO BE TROPHIES YOU CRAZY BITCHES," then z-snap and fly off in a hover car or some other awesome technologically fancy vehicle us normal humans wouldn't have access to.

QEII would also work in this scenario...look at this expression of disdain!

So because I'd lose what little credibility I have with the ladies everywhere, I've decided to entitle this personal self-improvement project "From Hot Mess to Just Hot" wherein I will seek to metamorphosize myself into a capable adult who could plan awesome parties, raise a child, manage a team of people, maintain a healthy lifestyle, wear make-up regularly, correct someone wittily, keep a plant alive for more than 2 weeks and/or get out of bed in the morning and exude excellence.

Like this dude...Except Female!

All self-deprecating humor aside, when I turned 20 I felt like I could conquer the world with a smile and a college degree. The past six years of this decade of my life have left me feeling somewhat beaten down and discouraged. I've changed a lot (sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse) but I really need to a) believe that a self-assured and confident Jill is buried underneath the wear and tear and b) that I can resurrect her like a phoenix from the ashes. Frankly, if I'm about to add a permanent partner to my life I feel like I should at least have all of my life-components working smoothly! In the end, its not about changing myself but about getting rid of all the clutter and exposing the awesome person I am to the world again (cheesy I know...I don't know why you're complaining though. YOU chose to read this drivel!).

So here are the goals...its always good to have goals right? They will change...and you will get to watch them change assuming I keep updating this blog!

• For the Body: drop more weight, cook more food, visit the gym more often
• For the Habitat: clean regularly, decorate/add personal touches, get a plant
• For the Mind: find a new job, finish grad school, set actual career goals, READ
• For the Youthful Glow: remember how to use make-up, actually take care of my hair, skin care, wardrobe
• For the Soul: volunteer or just use spare time doing other things than watching Netflix

Will I actually follow through with any of these? You'll just have to tune in next week...same bat time...same bat channel.

Hey! We have a blog now...like everyone else!

Hello Internets!

So here's the story everyone! After almost five years JP and I are taking the plunge and moving in together....while living in sin. Some people feel this is a serious step forward, some people feel this was inevitable...but most people seem to feel like this will be an adventure filled with hilarious tales of awkward klutziness, JP's various voices, practical jokes gone too far, the occasional tender moment and of course mudkipz. As you can see, JP will be contributing to this blog...though I hope he says more than "Are you a Wizard?" "So I herd you liek mudkipz," and other memes that he pulls from the bowels of the internet.

Really, this is going to be about 70% me describing how I adjust to living with a boy, 20% JP's unique perspective on the situation and 10% absolute insanity as we bring some of our crazy lives to you. Feel free to comment, ask inappropriate probing questions, or just laugh a lot as we navigate this new development in our lives.

Clearly, the first task of any internet blogger is to think of a witty title that really sets the tone for the reader. Of course we couldn't come up with one that we both liked (big surprise huh? I'm not sure this bodes well for our cohabitation...) so we're putting it out to you, our loving readers, to help us come up with a title for the blog. Here are some of our failed attempts:

Fail 1: So A Priest, A Rabbi, and A Gay Humanist Walk into A Bar: The Story of Us.

Fail 2: I May Be An Asshole, but YOU'RE A Garden Rake and other witty tales.

Fail 3: I Moved in with JP and All I Got was this Shitty Blog

Fail 4: Living in Sin....why don't I listen to my conscience? Now I'm Stuck with this Dirty Hobo


We did manage to come up with a few that we found acceptable, but again we couldn't decide which one to use...so we want YOU to help us out by voting for one of the following:

A.) There and Back Again: Or How We Ripped Off Tolkien for a Title to Our Cohabitation Blog

Second.) Living with Larry, and the 8 million other personas of JP

3.) Romeo & Juliet, they took the easy way out: A Love Story

Lastly.) Dysfunctionally Functional: The Story of Our Life

Let us know what you think!

Love,

Jill & JP